HIGH KICKS

So, I saw a post this morning on Emily Mary Loves and it sparked a blog post of my own.... TIGHTS! Why on earth are fat girl tights so hard to find, really?! I mean, I know We Love Colors has them, but I want fun printed tights, galaxy tights to name one. I saw a couple shops on Etsy that sell "plus size" tights but when I go to look at their size chart... they stop at XL....

XL? Really? Thats considered the fat size now, I must be the size of a house then if thats correct.

If anyone has suggestions for tights they like (in a size 3x, ahem) please leave me a message!

It gets very frustrating to see limitations on stylish clothing and such. My biggest struggle with being fluffy was finding fashionable clothes that fit me, not old lady clothing and for sure not just mumu's... although, I have to say a mumu with a high belt looks fabulous! Check out Jes' blog post on that one here.

 

I was walking through the forest of Moccasin breath
when I saw a troll boy wearing tight pants
I want to own them, but can you even dance in those pants?
“Watch me, woman!”

They made him move like a vessel of shimmy,
All sweet and tender like a tiny baby kitty.
I need to get some! Put my body in them, then I will rule the land!!

Is that an angel baby? No! That’s his dance moves! Yes!
Watch my lady honey grooves! Feed me lots of Jamba Juice!
Call me lady tiger, but I never eat my young, no!
My legs in those pants, a dream! When I would move, I’d scream:

Watch out for my body rolls!
Watch out for my body rolls!
High kicks!
High kicks!
This is how we do it!

Watch out for my body rolls!
Watch out for my body rolls!
High kicks!
High kicks!
This is how we do it!

I begged that boy to make me some
Gotta dance like that where I come from
Grab a partner form a line
Cut and stitch and make ‘em shine
Work that elastic it’s looking fantastic
P-p-please stitch ‘em pretty ‘cause my body can’t handle that
It’s just the power of the lycra
Tickles my tigra
Let me get inside of ‘em and stretch, stretch, stretch!

And tell yourself you’re a vessel of shimmy
And activate your dance floor kitty

When I place my legs in a cage of spandex
I dance like hell to release the madness
Watch my feet pound holes in plywood
Watch my hips crush plates of baked goods

Watch out for my body rolls!
Watch out for my body rolls!
High kicks!
High kicks!
This is how we do it!

Watch out for my body rolls!
Watch out for my body rolls!
High kicks!
High kicks!
This is how we do it!

‘Twas the last stitch on the final seam
He placed onto me, my leg hairs quivered and screamed
I know I needed them more than ever
But then he looked at my legs and said “NEVER!”
I was already wearing tight pants
I just did not activate them!

Wow!

Body roll body roll high kick high kick
This is how we do it

Body roll body roll high kick high kick


I’m a dance floor tiger lady pumping everything she has
Touching every single lad
Rubbing every lady gland
Work that dance floor they may vote you mayor jazz
One day have a plaque that says “She wore the tightest of pants”

Watch out for my body rolls!
Watch out for my body rolls!
High kicks!
High kicks!
This is how we do it!

Watch out for my body rolls!
Watch out for my body rolls!
High kicks!
High kicks!
This is how we do it!

4 comments:

  1. I've bought 2X tights from www.welovecolors.com :) hope that helps! They have the best colours/size options I've seen.

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  2. Have you checked out Sockdreams? They have a section for Plus Size, plus they go a step beyond and test their products and list on each product page the calf & thigh measurements that it will fit.

    http://www.sockdreams.com/products/sock-collections/plus-sized/

    Also, on the body positivity front, I'm not sure if you've heard of the Fat Nutritionist (http://www.fatnutritionist.com/), but I really like her work and view on things. She also offers nutrition counselling from a body positive point of view, which I think is awesome - and if I ever have money again, I hope to do it.

    ReplyDelete